Now, when you lie in bed at night and have difficulty falling asleep, you don’t count sheep. No sirree, not you! You just count all of the dollar bills that Mr. Madoff is increasing on your behalf, and you immediately fall into a blissful sleep, with a smile of contentment on your face. You have a hard time concentrating by Shmoneh Esrei, because you are so busy daydreaming about your astounding portfolio…
The following story was told by the Rebbe, in the name of the Frierdike Rebbe, on a few occasions:
R’ Shmuel Michel Treinin was a Chassid of the Rebbe Rashab who resided in Petersburg. R’ Shmuel Michel was a very wealthy Chassid, and, in addition, was very organized and put together by nature. Furthermore, he was a moroh sh’chora, a solemn and grave individual. He had dealings with numerous important government officials (which was one of the reasons that he was approved to live in Petersburg), and was always dressed immaculately.
Once, the celebrated chassid R’ Michoel der Alter came to Petersburg for the purpose of getting a bachur freed from the draft (so that, rather than serve in the army, he could spend his time learning Torah). He came to R’ Shmuel Michel for assistance, and R’ Shmuel Michel accompanied him to visit some important officers who, he hoped, would be able to help their cause.
R’ Michoel went around the streets of Petersburg the same way that he did in Lubavitch, i.e., he didn’t pay any special attention to his attire. R’ Shmuel Michel walked alongside R’ Michoel in the street and felt distinctly uncomfortable. Here he was, the respected businessman whom everyone knew and held in such high esteem, and he was being escorted by what looked like a vagabond! Of course he wouldn’t say anything to R’ Michoel, of whom he was in awe, but every time one of his acquaintances passed by them he felt like running away and hiding.
Finally, he could not contain himself, and a long sigh burst out of his mouth. Startled, R’ Michoel asked him if everything was alright. R’ Shmuel Michel tried very respectfully to suggest to R’ Michoel that at least when walking in the streets of Petersburg he could make himself more presentable. When R’ Michoel heard that this was what was troubling his colleague, he turned to him reproachfully and exclaimed:
“Gevald, R’ Shmuel Michel, in vos ligt ihr?!!” (Gevald, R’ Shmuel Michel, is this what you are into??!!)
R’ Shmuel Michel Treinin was a chassidisher Yid (as is apparent from the letters of the Rebbeim to him), a philanthropist and askan, who was cherished by the Rebbeim. He was – at the time of the story – on his way to work selflessly on behalf of another Jew. He wasn’t being vain or conceited, rather, he was justifiably concerned about a negative impression (a “chillul Lubavitch”) that R’ Michoel’s appearance would make on his associates (people whose association with him was utilized for the betterment of other Yidden). So why did R’ Michoel reprimand him? What was so wrong with that? Why does this reflect being “into” the wrong things?
Perhaps we can gain insight into this story from what the Alter Rebbe writes in Likkutei Torah about “U’Sefartem”:
In davening – in the brachos of Krias Shma – we beseech the Eibeshter “V’lo Neivosh L’olam Va’ed” [May we not encounter any embarrassment forever and ever].
What is the nature of this terrible embarrassment that at the peak of birkos Krias Shma, at the very climax of davening, we worry about it? The Alter Rebbe tells us that this does not refer to embarrassing experiences in our lifetime (as painful as they may seem); rather, it is the shame of “L’olam Va’ed,” of our afterlife, that we are davening to be spared from.
In this world, our vision is clouded. We do not perceive the reality of G-dliness, of “ein od milvado.” We do not recognize how the one and only existence is Hashem; instead, the world and its inhabitants appear to us to be genuine. However, when the neshama completes its mission down here and returns to its roots, then, when its view is no longer distorted by the presence of the physical body, it suddenly acquires a whole new perspective. All at once the truth becomes clear, the truth of “Emes Havaya L’olam,” that this was the true (although unacknowledged) reality even down here.
At that point, the neshama looks back and realizes that its life was spent under a misconception, that it was duped, dedicating itself to the pursuit of nothingness and vanity, and it becomes mortified.
We’re not talking about aveiros here, mind you. Because, even someone who is meticulous in the performance of Torah and mitzvos may still find that his efforts, his main focus, revolved around worldly pursuits and material gain. He too will then discover that his primary achievement in life was worthless and misguided.
Imagine you have a sum of money that you put aside; maybe it’s your chasuna money, your share of an inheritance, or just what you managed to painstakingly save up over the years. You’re looking for a safe place to put the money, and some of your friends “in the know” tell you about this solid investment opportunity that you must take advantage of. The company is very well established, and the return is excellent. In fact, it’s headed by a nice little Yiddel, a Jew by the name of Bernie Madoff or something like that, who sits in the mizrach in his shul and gets Maftir every other week.
A prudent businessman, you recognize the opportunity and grasp it enthusiastically. And, indeed, it turns out to be one of the best decisions of your life. Every month without fail your statements show how your investment is paying off beyond your wildest imaginations. Your earnings are being reinvested, and your interest is compounding. You are becoming a truly wealthy man.
Now, when you lie in bed at night and have difficulty falling asleep, you don’t count sheep. No sirree, not you! You just count all of the dollar bills that Mr. Madoff is increasing on your behalf, and you immediately fall into a blissful sleep, with a smile of contentment on your face. You have a hard time concentrating by Shmoneh Esrei, because you are so busy daydreaming about your astounding portfolio. Whenever you see a friend who is struggling to make ends meet, you thank Hashem anew for directing you to Madoff. In fact, at times you wonder why the Anshei Kneses HaG’dola didn’t establish an additional bracha in Birkos HaShachar, to thank Hashem for making Madoff (but, then again, they didn’t have the privilege of knowing him). Every time you deny yourself one pleasure or another, you comfort yourself with the fact that one of these years you’ll finally cash in your investment, and then there’ll be nothing that you can’t buy (and of course you’ll finally be able to give so much tz’daka).
Finally, after years of watching and waiting and dreaming, the time finally arrives to enjoy the fruits of your labor. With a spring in your step and excitement in your heart and an immense feeling of gratitude to Hashem Yisborach, you go to pick up your check. On the way you pause to glance at the newspaper headlines, and your heart stops for a moment. You turn back and read it again, having trouble believing your eyes, and the words are staring right back at you, glaring at you, mocking you. You realize that while you were right about the number of zeros on your check, it doesn’t have any other digit on it besides them. In a split second, all of your dreams turned to dust and ashes!
It wasn’t that it was a bad investment, or even a very bad one that fell very short of your expectations. Rather, it was no investment at all. It was a lie, a fake, a Ponzi scheme. All these years you were running after nothing at all! Your dreams, your efforts, your expectations, they were all nothing more than a figment of your imagination.
The pain is acute, the agony indescribable. And the shame and embarrassment are overwhelming. Ribbono Shel Olam! How did I delude myself into spending my entire life chasing a pipe dream? How could all of my means been invested in the pursuit of nothing? What could I have been thinking? How could I have been so foolish? How can I live with this disgrace!
Well, this is precisely what the neshama experiences when it returns to the real world. It suddenly recognizes that the world is really non-existent. It’s not that it’s bad or wicked or grob; it’s nothing at all. It’s one big fat Ponzi scheme, a pipe dream, a figment of many overactive imaginations. And I spent my whole life, all of my time and all of my kochos pursuing this nothingness!
Ribbono Shel Olam! How did I delude myself into spending my entire life chasing a pipe dream? How could all of my means been invested in the pursuit of nothing? What could I have been thinking? How could I have been so foolish? How can I live with this disgrace!
It’s not just aveiros ch”v, which will cause humiliation. The mere involvement in physical pursuits, the importance that I attributed to them, suddenly becomes a source of great embarrassment.
Imagine you’re buying a soda. You’re standing there and examining each of the sodas in the machine, trying to determine which one you’ll enjoy the most. Then you move to the snack machine, and try to decide whether to buy a smoked sushi sandwich or a chocolate covered pickle.
Nothing wrong there, you have to eat and be healthy, in order to serve Hashem. But suddenly, you notice a strange feeling in the air, you turn around, and you see that R’ Mendel Futerfas (or your mashpia or Rov or you-name-it) was standing right behind you watching the entire time. Suddenly you’re acutely embarrassed, and don’t know where to bury yourself.
Imagine, then, realizing that the Eibeshter is constantly at your side, that the Rebbe is constantly with you, watching you. Your entire perspective of the world and your priorities will suddenly change dramatically!
R’ Itche Springer a”h used to farbreng with us, as bachurim in 770, and say: “A bachur has to keep his room in such a way that he would be prepared at any time for the Rebbe to walk in. A bachur could have, for example, a picture of a car in his room (because he’s into cars etc.). What’s wrong with a car? It’s not a lack of tznius, it’s not goyish. But if the Rebbe were to suddenly walk into your room and look at it, why, you would die of shame!”
When the neshama ascends on high and realizes that the whole world is G-dliness, and nothing is devoid of the presence of the Eibeshter, it is filled with great shame over any time it spent focusing on anything at all other than the Eibeshter. It is from this shame that we beg Hashem – at the climax of davening, in Birkos Krias Shma – to spare us.
This, then, is what R’ Michoel demanded of R’ Shmuel Michel. There’s nothing wrong or sinful with his concern about the state of R’ Michoel’s buttons and it is true that when one is in a public place he should be presentable (and cause a Kiddush Hashem). But “Gevald, R’ Shmuel Michel, in vos ligt ihr?!!” R’ Michoel felt that R’ Shmuel Michel’s discomfort, his preoccupation with what the goyim would now think of him, was a reflection of his attaching undue importance to the worldly perspective. He was “into” the Hanachos Ha’olam, and not “into” the perspective of “Ein Od Milvado” the way that a chassid of his caliber could have been and should have been.
And now, in these days of s’fira, as we learn the Likkutei Torah (in Parshas Emor) about S’firas HaOmer, we have to ask ourselves: “Gevald, bachur, gevald yungerman, in vos ligt ihr?!!”
We were given the opportunity to learn Torah in general and Chassidus in particular and to live a life that will spare us from the terrible shame that could occur when the truth becomes undeniably clear. We have to take matters into our hands, to do what we can to be “into” what we should be into and to such a degree that it impacts our mindset and viewpoint.
“Gevald, bachur, gevald yungerman, in vos ligt ihr?!!”
The answer should be: into davening, into learning, into ahavas Yisroel, and into Moshiach!
In dem ligt men!
L’chaim! May we all be into things that reveal and strengthen our connection with Hashem, and may He in turn be “into” strengthening and revealing His connection with us, which will be plain for all to see with the immediate hisgalus of Moshiach Tzidkeinu Teikef U’miyad Mamash!!!
From a written Farbrengen director towards Alumni of Yeshivas Lubavitch Toronto