Dear reader sh’yichyeh,
Many are preparing themselves for the holy day of Lag B’Omer. One of the special customs of the day is that many boys will be receiving their first haircut - Upshernish - on that day. For those living in Eretz Yisroel, they will be bringing their children to the Kever of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai in Miron to fulfill this special minhag Yisroel. We all know of the special “upshernish float” that would pass by the Rebbe by the Lag B’Omer parades.
Regarding the upshernish, the Rebbe writes (HaYom Yom 4 Iyar): “It is a Jewish custom not to trim or cut a boy’s hair until he is fully three years old. Cutting the boy’s hair at that time — an upshernish — is an important Jewish custom, whose main aim is to educate the child to leave his peios [uncut]. From the time of his [first] haircut, when the peios are left uncut, the custom is to make a point of training the child to wear a tallis katan, and to recite the Morning Blessings, the Grace after Meals, and the Prayer before Retiring at Night.” This HaYom Yom is also quoted in the letter that the Rebbe sends personally to each child on occasion of their upshernish.
We find by the Rebbeim that very special attention, and special events, were connected to their upshernish. Here are a few examples:
The Alter Rebbe: His father Reb Baruch requested permission to bring the boy to the Besh”t on his third birthday for the traditional “haircutting” ceremony. The Besh”t agreed, but on the condition that no one besides Baruch, his wife, and his sister Devorah Leah would be told about it. In addition, the young child, his mother and his aunt would have to leave immediately after the Besh”t cut the child’s hair. He said they should come to him after the Morning Prayers of the 18th of Elul. When they arrived on the appointed day, the Besh”t cut off a few locks of hair, leaving peios (side locks) according to custom, and he blessed the boy with the three-fold Priestly Blessing (Num. 6:24-26). He then sent the visitors home, with his blessings for a safe journey and for the new year.
He also instructed Baruch not to tell his young son about him or about Chassidus. The Besh”t explained that in order for Shneur Zalman to fulfill his special mission, he must learn about Chassidus on his own and decide for himself whether or not he wanted to become a chassid.
After they departed, the Baal Shem Tov made his yearly festive meal in honor of his birthday. During the meal he said, “At the age of three, Avraham the Patriarch recognized G-d. Avraham had mesirus nefesh (total self-sacrifice) to teach people how to serve G-d.
“On this day, three years ago, a special soul came down into this world. Today, the one who has this new soul will need the total self-sacrifice of Avraham the Patriarch to teach Jews how to serve G-d with truth and vitality. When he succeeds in this tremendous mission, his soul will shine until the coming of Moshiach. The Accuser, however, was also given strength… to fight him. This is the reason I often cried during these past three years. His name in Shneur, which means Shnei Or - two lights - and he will light up the world with two lights: the light of the revealed Torah and light of p’nimius (esoteric) ha’Torah.”
The Tzemach Tzedek: The Tzemach Tzedek was born on Erev Rosh HaShana 5549. Three years later, on the day of his Upshernish, the following story took place: There was a big g’zeira on the life of the Alter Rebbe, because he spread Chassidus Chabad. On the eve of Rosh Hashanah of that year, following the afternoon prayers, Devorah Leah went into the small synagogue where her family and some elder chassidim were engrossed in prayers. She walked towards the Holy Ark and loudly proclaimed, “You are all witnesses before these Torah scrolls, that I, Devorah Leah, daughter of Sterna, accept upon myself, with a clear mind, to exchange lives with my father, Shneur Zalman, son of Rivka. I, through my death, will be the atonement.”
That night, the first night of Rosh Hashanah, the Alter Rebbe left his private room to seek out Devorah Leah. As she approached him, he began to bless her with the customary blessing of “L’shana tova” (“You should be blessed with a good year”). She abruptly interrupted his blessing with, “Father, L’shana tova tikasev veteichatem (You should be inscribed and sealed for a good new year).” When he, in turn, was about to finish his blessing to her, she pleaded, “Father, say no more!”
At the conclusion of Rosh Hashanah, the Alter Rebbe called for Devorah Leah and her husband, Rabbi Sholom Shachna. Rabbi Sholom broke down in tears, asking, “What are we to do? Our young son, Menachem Mendel, is so special, yet he is so young and tender. He has just celebrated his third birthday.” Devorah Leah’s last request of her father was that he should personally involve himself with the duty of educating and raising her young and only son. Reassuring her, the Alter Rebbe promised, “Your son, Menachem [Hebrew for comfort], will be a nechama (comfort) to me, a nechama to you and a nechama to all of the Jewish people.” The following day, on the third day of Tishrei, Devorah Leah’s prayer came true—she fell suddenly ill and died a natural death. Her soul left her body and ascended to the heavens.
The Rebbe Rashab: “When the Rashab turned three years old, the Rebbe the Tzemach Tzedek told us to hold his upshernish without any publicity as well. The night before, the child was to sleep in the Rebbe the Tzemach Tzedek’s room. When he awoke in the morning, the gabbai, Reb Chaim Ber, helped him wash negel vasser and the Rebbe the Tzemach Tzedek said the brachos with him and answered ‘Amen.’”
The Frierdike Rebbe related that on a different occasion, he heard the following from his paternal grandmother, Rebbetzin Rivka: “After Shacharis, the Rebbe the Tzemach Tzedek called my husband and me into his room. ‘The Baal Shem Tov,’ he informed us solemnly, ‘had given his disciple, the Maggid of Mezritch a spiritual ‘cruse of oil’ with which to anoint the Alter Rebbe and his descendants for all generations. With that force, the Mitteler Rebbe and I were anointed by the Alter Rebbe; with that same power I anointed you and now I am also anointing your son, Sholom Dovber [to become Rebbe in his generation].’”
Many ask: If the upshernish is truly such a great thing, why is it not mentioned in Gemara or Shulchan Aruch? The answer is that the question is based on a faulty approach to Jewish customs. Minhagim-customs should not be seen as something which is less important, and should be celebrated less, than Halacha; rather, in a certain sense, they should be appreciated more. For halacha we follow that what we were told to do, while a Minhag is something that B’nei Yisroel, out of their love and passion for Hashem and the desire to deepen the relationship, opted, of their own volition, to do for Hashem. Thus, it is deeper and celebrated more. We find a similar idea concerning Simchas Torah - while it is just a minhag, it is the most celebrated Yom Tov.
Thus, the Upshernish, while just a minhag, becomes the foundation of Chinuch for the entire life of the child. In kabbalistic words: The beard, which comes after the Peios, represents the 13 Middos of Rachamim-mercy. The Peios represent the revelation which precedes the 13 Middos of Rachamim. Halacha is connected to the 13 middos, and therefore does not mention Upshernish. Thus, the objective of the upshernish is that the boy should have his peios “revealed,” exposing his connection to a source that is higher than the 13 Middos of Rachamim.
Upshernish, as with every Mitzva and minhag Yisroel, has a unique connection to preparing ourselves for Moshiach. It is brought down in S’farim that the Upshernish is connected to the Mitzva of “Reishis HaGez.” What is this special Mitzva? We are commanded to give to the Kohen the first cuttings of the fleece of sheep grown in the Land of Israel (see Deut. 18:4: “You are to give them the first fruits of your grain, new wine and olive oil, and the first wool from the shearing of your sheep.”).
However, most Jews cannot perform the mitzvah of giving Reishis HaGez (wool shearings) to a Kohen, because they don’t own sheep. The same is true with regards to giving the zeroa, lechayayim and keiva (foreleg, cheeks and stomach) to a Kohen. Therefore , the custom is that we invite a Kohen to be the first one to cut the hair. We are training the child, and ourselves, to fulfil all the mitzvos connected with giving presents to the Kohen, which will be fulfilled in their entirety in Yemos HaMoshiach.
Rabbi Avtzon is the Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivas Lubavitch Cincinnati and a well sought after speaker and lecturer. Recordings of his in-depth shiurim on Inyanei Geula u’Moshiach can be accessed at http://www.ylcrecording.com